January 24th, 2022
A cold, dark wet and rainy day, the bottom of the year, all is dormant now and wet and hidden. Without the near promise of spring, the squirrels and winter birds scratch for fall’s remainders. Trees wait for a time to revive; they have patience, no hurry, and are settled for now in sleep. Temporary sleep. There is no new news, only last weeks recycled. Counting toward the passing of illness all about us, keeps life on hold for just a while longer. Amused with the mundane; dinner will eventually relieve the passing of hours. Routines and obligations pass the time. A good day as any for maintenance. Begin to search for bright days to follow, they will appear as the time passes, faster than you can hold it in your hand. Prepare for May in full flower, and plan right now. With optimism, not sadness in any way, remember that you are blessed. And do not let the day be forgotten.
December 26th, 2022
Where do you want to run today? far away? Maybe a race for us? Start slow and find your pace, up a short hill, icy roads, slanting rain, bright sun, across the busy streets, now on a path, it is wide enough to run side by side, breathing all of us in sync, we can talk and laugh a bit and stop on the bridge. Ah the bridge we have been here before it does not seem that long ago, out of breath we slow and stop. We parse through times and memories, the seasons change right in front of us, seasons do not stop, we know that each minute is precious. Appreciate the moment, the moments, each one a small pearl, they make a necklace of friendship as time goes on. Run, run, faster now, sprint back down the road, back to the start, slip in alone and together, alone and together is always best. Run and stop and laugh and grasp elbows.
New Year’s Eve 2022
And just like that the year winds down. Fall drops suddenly, a week of frozen weather hastens nature’s full-on retreat to dormancy, even if warm days intrude once more the landscape knows better, for now. For many a week of escape and events, travel tribulations, forced fun when we can make it happen. I always have treasured these quiet days of the year, foggy sunrises, long quiet evenings, run and recover and contemplate the past even as the future awaits. Did we accomplish enough, what is the measure of that, is it the count of fleeting events, the help we provide to others, the contributions to the greater world, who can pass judgement? The good grade school Sisters reminded us that we are never content, always looking for the next best thing, because in the end we are all longing for the glory of heaven. They might have a point. We were blessed with good health and our families too; we did not accomplish the sum of our planned goals and aspirations, we never do. It is an old admonition and true; let us look ahead and try to be just a bit better each day, never quite perfect, in fact some days though we reach up and touch heaven’s sky, if only for a moment. I have some goals in my mind and will record and try to achieve them. I have no regrets for the past, only thankfulness for the gifts of friendship and love that fell upon all of us. And I hold out optimism for what could be our very best years, in whatever form they take, we truly enrich each other.
February 12th, 2023
The ride home. The roads are relatively open, and my spirit is well, a hot coffee to sustain me, music of my choice. Climb up out of Austin city proper, the road widens and then narrows on small winding hills. High clouds hide the sun and glare. Texas is not a beautiful state, but after years of living with it, I begin to see the beauty within its spare forms. Farmland and small industrial sites, large lots set back from the road hold older ranch style houses, grand in their day. This time of year is especially precious. Roads are lined with cedar elms, ash, and red oaks; new buds now swelling with a reddish smudge even as they continue to lay dormant for another fortnight. Deep green grasses emerge from the recent rains, nature is healing in preparation for spring revival, the wildflowers soon upon us. Light drops just a bit late in the late afternoon, framing the fields, peaceful as it passes by. I am in no hurry. Past the ancient trading posts and antique stores, all manner of parts and pieces of old on display. These same “treasures” have probably changed hands a dozen times, bought, and traded again. Just east of Brenham an abandoned drive-in theatre looms large over the road, metal siding missing in sections as it slowly returns to earth, its service complete.
Down into the northern edges of Houston, traffic quickens of course, boats and trucks and speeding sedans; I detour east on farm to market roadway, the sun at my back now. Housing returns, Five Open Models! New Kentucky Village, is that like old Kentucky in Texas?? The parking lot is packed for Han’s fresh crawfish, an interesting name for a Cajun. I ease in toward home now, even as many others run local errands on a late Sunday afternoon. I come to appreciate what the state of Texas gives and takes away, today it gave back to me with its light late in winter caress. Appreciate every day….
July 6, 2023
Ode to high summer. The alarm rolls me awake, can I please hold on to that dream, it is dark out there, perhaps I should sleep some more. A few days have passed since the bright July full moon, did you glimpse it? Once huge in the sky, now sideways sculpted and hiding behind high clouds. The air is damp from last evening’s fake rainstorm, the trees, and grasses are stiffened and dry, they cry for more. Quietly I trot down the street, around and across; I look up. Such a curious thing; that the mornings have begun to alter now. Slow brightening on the horizon, those same high clouds reflect first light. A lessened light as the days begin to retreat from the June solstice – what you notice when you show up at every dawn. I cannot help but stare and take some small comfort in that somewhat softened start to the day. Down and over and cross the road and trot up to the track, I am blessedly all alone, now brightening skies chase me slowly around. The sun hides for a while longer and waits impatiently to appear. Relative quietude, commutes hum in the distance. I nurse my way along, mindful of slow recovery each time out, bank five or so, no good reason to press right now, save it for a while longer. Back down and up as the world awakens, a few early risers they do not intrude, content I am to be mostly on my own and witness the slow tipping of the season. The sky brightens for a while, and then darkens again, tropical moisture arrives, a short, sweet summer rainstorm offers temporary renewal. There is much to cause worry and impatience; take the time to slow down and appreciate that every single day is special. Seasons turn.
July 11, 2023
Readings. Pulling a few thoughts together from readings of the past week. There is this. Meritocracy: a political, social, or economic system in which individuals are assigned to positions of power, influence, or reward solely based on their abilities and achievements and not based on their social, cultural, or economic background, or irrelevant personal characteristics.
This concept was discussed within context of the recent Supreme Court ruling against affirmative action programs which have been in place at many selective schools. As a side note, it is interesting that this practice is limited to only a few dozen (generally “elite”) schools, as most colleges and universities have a form of open enrollment, where anyone can attend. Within the book that I am reading (How to be Perfect, written by Michael Schur) the author addresses this topic: “There is a certain strain of modern Western sociopolitical thinker that aggressively admires “meritocracy.” Every society should be a meritocracy, argue these adherents, and we should not pass laws that favor one group of people over another, for any reason. There should be no affirmative action laws for university admissions, no initiatives to gender-balance workforces. The cream should simply rise to the top! These people (usually heterosexual rich white men) conveniently forget that “for a meritocracy to work – for a society to properly value and celebrate hard work and individual success – the people within the society need to start from the same point of origin. Otherwise, the cream is not rising to the top-the people who were closest to the top already are rising to the top, and the whole concept crumbles to dust…”
He goes on to talk about people who inherited money and connections, and those many less fortunate born into poverty and lack of opportunity. And that we were all born into circumstances beyond our control, which conferred on us certain advantages and disadvantages. Think of Demon Copperhead (book by Barbara Kingsolver) and the disadvantages he was born into. And think of us, born into two parent loving families, not wealthy, but who were dedicated to our education and advancement. A lot to unpack here. Affirmative action in education. Despite inequities that might affect individuals, I support it for the opportunities it brings to those less “lucky” than us. Especially as legacy and athletic enrollments continue. I can commiserate with individuals who are denied opportunities in favor of affirmative action candidates in admissions and employment. Balancing the scales is so difficult. Women in STEM, some recent essays have opened my eyes a bit, I considered that CVX was “somewhat” progressive in supporting the careers of women. Until they ran up against gatekeepers (generally men) in higher positions who could deny access to better opportunities, despite skills and experience.
You and I we cannot fix everything, systemic social issues. We can treat others with respect and appreciate their circumstances and count our blessings each day on this earth. Which brings me back full circle to that quote I shared last week: Words for us, a quote from an old book that I carry around: “What I know is, you have a better chance in life – of surviving it – if you tolerate loss well; manage not to be a cynic through it all…., to keep proportion, to connect the unequal things into a whole that preserves the good, even if admittedly good is often not simple to find. …We try. all of us. We try.”
September 28th, 2023
Toward October. Well maybe not a lost month, there were a few highlights. A marathon race trip to Washington State with son Mike, glorious, until I started to race and my shoe went sideways. I am still recovering from the event with no lasting damage. A trip to Austin, spending time with young kids, a nice (birthday) celebration of young life. Challenging myself to build a website and still hard at it. Finally close to the end of summer, at last. The past week of family medical issues and now planning for more procedures puts a stop to forward plans, travel, and events. Treading water now for a bit longer. Counsel to myself as the harvest moon rises again tonight. I have made it through injury and recovery, once again. My health remains strong. Treasure each good night of recuperative sleep. I have a very good level of fitness to build on. Watch what I eat. Educate myself. Read and write. Stay involved. Make the best use of every day. Test yourself, be perfect. October is my favorite month. I will not let it slip by unappreciated. Some quotes to carry me along through the rest of this year:
“March on. Do not tarry. To go forward is to move toward perfection. March on, and fear not the thorns, or the sharp stones on life’s path.” – Khalil Gibran
“Perfection of character is this: to live each day as if it were your last, without frenzy, without apathy, without pretense.” – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
“Optimism doesn’t mean that you are blind to the reality of the situation. It means that you remain motivated to seek a solution to whatever problems arise.” – The Dalai Lama
“This is a wonderful day, I have never seen this one before.” – Maya Angelou
“We can never know what to want, because, living only one life, we can neither compare it with our previous lives nor perfect it in our lives to come.” – Milan Kundera, author of The Unbearable Lightness of Being
We remember these words. Let us treasure them in October, a month of birth and renewal.
December 18th, 2023
Meditative running, podcasts and books enrich. Looking out my window into a dark sky, a quarter moon hovers above. Life is somehow returned to “normal”, whatever that means. Discretionary time increases and brings new choices, how to invest that time for improved mental / physical health and happiness. I need to hold sports and politics at arm’s length, their stories are paid entertainment, they entertain but do not enrich. Music entertains (enriches?) me, and I do not tire of it, evolving genres that are just my own. Four-week goals. A short training build, careful to stay healthy read as much as practical. Podcasts lurk out to engage thought, and I have found a few to substitute for workout music. I also found a meditation primer, take some time to make this a habit. Stay within yourself, become a better and less distracted version. Recently, while sifting through some of the excruciatingly detailed performance data he had collected over decades as a Colorado-based triathlon coach, Alan Couzens noticed a pleasing symmetry. All else being equal, the amount of aerobic fitness his athletes lost by getting a year older was almost identical to the amount they gained by adding an hour per month of training time. Want to freeze the biological clock from one birthday to the next? Find a spare 15 minutes per week and fill it with running. The long-haul practicality of this approach is debatable: after a decade, that additional training time would total 2.5 hours a week. But the underlying premise of what we might call the Couzens Immortality Quotient taps into a fertile area of debate. How much of the aging process is an inevitable slide into decrepitude, and how much is a result of not getting enough exercise? https://sports.yahoo.com/most-people-slower-age-inevitable-140055438.html
I am still sitting on a reasonably high stack of unread books, some dating back two or more years from purchase. Oftentimes I will move a book to the front of the reading line, or dip back for a now dust covered edition from years ago. Entirely on whim. My favorite authors are in between publications this year so there has been a bit of a recent drought on book purchases. I was tempted to buy the Elon Musk biography, but I have decided that I do not like the guy so much at all, and so why then spend 600 pages reading more about him. Nothing on the Christmas list until now, the New York Times list of 100 notable books came out on December 3rd, followed by their list of the ten best books of 2023. These two caught my eye, the first a broad story about a family in Ireland, contemporary, though apparently the writing style is a bit unique. The second I had heard about; a house in the wilds of Massachusetts continuously occupied for 300 years. I think I might buy myself these as Christmas presents, small indulgences. https://www.amazon.com/The-Bee-Sting/dp/0241353963 https://www.amazon.com/North-Woods-Mason-Daniel/dp/0593730623/ref=monarch_sidesheet
The last of color clings to backyard trees, an egret greets me on my walk. Glorious.
